You Will Call it another Chik Lit Story, Some will say Exaggerated
Infatuation But to Me It’s My Life In My Own Word’s…
All Cute and Papa’s Girl way I Lived in Full masti and pleasure till the
Moment I Saw Him. His Charming Personality took My Breathe away. Around 5’10”
he was in Height and his Hairs wore a Exquisitely Sexy Hairstyle…;) Later I
discovered My latest crush was Brainy And Brilliant too…and not to mention I
Fell For Him…
The two days of he being around was tensed but beautiful and special in
it’s Cute little way…He was a star “sexy shoes; sexy glasses with a Sexier
Voice”.
Those two days were like Festival. Every moment was colourful as on Holi
days; night Brighten Up as on Diwali and his every word was like Bursting of
cracker in my Heart. He was sexy and I was in Love with him. I was in Love and
outrageously out of this world.
Every night now I slept incessantly murmuring his name and dreaming
about him beside and cuddling me. You may call it Illusion but for me It
was Love And its Effects ( or More Hangover…)
One Year Later…i.e Today…
There was a time when my boy, Shivam was delirious about me, that he
could do anything just to get my mobile number, he used to spend hours just to
catch me online. He used to tell me that I was the only girl whom he felt like
talking to. He was really cute. We turned out to be good friends and soon were
committed. But as they say, all good things don’t last long.
I
thought he loved me but no he didn’t. I thought we were made for each other but
no we weren’t…L
Things
were not going the right way. It had been five months that he hadn’t called me.
I wanted to clear out what the matter was. I was going impatient since it had
been a long time we were not in touch. I tried all I could, left message in his
facebook account left message in the numbers he used but nothing helped. And
then I took his current mobile number from one of his friends, and when I
called he didn’t even recognize my voice. That was the last thing I could ever
expect from him. We broke up, it was him who did the broke up but I who said
it.
In
these five months all I did was cry cry and cry but after we broke I changed. I
stopped crying but I wasn’t happy either… I felt as if I was numb. I felt
nothing! Nothing at all. I stopped caring about anything my clothes my face. I
even stopped talking to my friends. I was becoming a nerd. I used to study for
more than 9hrs a day so that I could keep my mind off him. (9hrs is a big deal
for me because I don’t study for even 5 full hours even during exam time).
I
tried doing stupid stuffs so that I could forget him. One of it was stopping my
tuition crush on the way back home and asking him to be my friend. He said yes…
One worked a little but sooner or later I started feeling guilty. I felt like a
slut while talking to my crush so I stopped talking to him.
One
fine day around 2-3 months after our break up he messaged me “hey I miss u! Y
have u stopped talking to me. I am sorry yar. Can we be friends again” I was
shocked! I thought staying detached with him would have made him realize my
value. I forgave him almost instantly. We started talking again normally,
actually better than we used to talk earlier.
I
thought we would soon patch up…J. Even his facebook wall had some
emotional status on them. I thought of asking it to him. So I called him.
“Hey, how are you” I said
“I am good! U tell?” Shivam said.
“Oye watsup with your facebook status?” I was a little shy to ask this…
“I will tell you! But promise me you wont mind or feel bad” he said.
Why would I mind a proposal from my eye candy…”Ya say… I am hearing”
“You know I like a girl. From my college. I really love her yar. I
always keep on telling her my feelings but she never understands and keeps on
rejecting my proposal”he said. On hearing this, my heart skipped a beat. I was
shattered. Moments ago I was thinking he would propose to me and what crap he
was saying now. I wish he was kidding but no he wasn’t. I went dumbstruck.
“oye what happened? Bura to nai mani na?” he said…
“no no its okay, u carry on… whats her name? how does she look?” what
else could I say?
“hmm.. her name is Akriti, beautiful she is…” and so on… we talked a
little and then I cut the phone.
I
was almost crying. I don’t know why he messaged me when he already liked
someone else. I felt like he was abusing me. I always had a small hope that
someday he would come to me & ask for patch up, someday we would be back to
normal. But after this conversation I lost this last hope. I felt like he
dumped me yet again.
It
was a real difficult day for me… it was difficult for me to talk talk eat study
and stop sobbing. I still remember how I completed my meal…L twice had my
mom asked me if the food was bad or what the matter was… “nothing! I am okay”
Is all I could say.
After
this incident I started staying away from him, we used to talk but I lost that
park, I lost the smile I used to have after reading his texts… earlier it was
me who used to speak a lot but now I subdued & all I did was hear his
stories with akriti which was no less than a torture to me. He used to tell me
stories of how he used to run after her all the time… and I used to feel like
shit on hearing these stories. He used to do all he could for a girl who didn’t
even care about me & on the other hand he was least bothered about me. I
used to love him so much… still…
Shivam
used to tell me that she ignored him a lot, she didn’t even answer to his calls
and so on. It was like he was living my life… earlier I used to run after him
and now just the opposite was happening, but the difference was he wasn’t
running after me. And then she even stopped talking to him.
He
told me he had stopped talking to other girls coz of Akriti. He said he would
never fall in love not with anyone… sometimes I used to wonder what my mistake
was that he was saying so… he even started having alchohol… all these talks
about her made me feel even more worthless…
He
was the reason I lived. I always used to think that someday Ill go to banglore
& we would meet. But my dreams, my planning’s all of them have shattered. I
used to go for morning walk, did a hefty workout & kept a strict diet so
that he wouldn’t be ashamed of walking with me. I tried all I could to be
perfect to get him. I even proposed to him once but neither did this
work. Nowadays I fake to him that I have a boyfriend so that maybe… maybe he
would get jealous & start liking me once again. But even this doesn’t seem
to work…
These
days he stays very low! I feel sorry for him. Sometimes I feel as if his
“karma” is doing this to him. As if He is getting a taste of his own actions!
P.S:- This Article Is Combined Effort Of Sadaf Zia And Me… More
Credits To Sadaf For Pouring Her Heart Out…J
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