Friday, 13 July 2012

What Goes Around Comes Around...19th Post...:)

You Will Call it another Chik Lit Story, Some will say Exaggerated Infatuation But to Me It’s My Life In My Own Word’s…
All Cute and Papa’s Girl way I Lived in Full masti and pleasure till the Moment I Saw Him. His Charming Personality took My Breathe away. Around 5’10” he was in Height and his Hairs wore a Exquisitely Sexy Hairstyle…;) Later I discovered My latest crush was Brainy And Brilliant too…and not to mention I Fell For Him…
The two days of he being around was tensed but beautiful and special in it’s Cute little way…He was a star “sexy shoes; sexy glasses with a Sexier Voice”.
Those two days were like Festival. Every moment was colourful as on Holi days; night Brighten Up as on Diwali and his every word was like Bursting of cracker in my Heart. He was sexy and I was in Love with him. I was in Love and outrageously out of this world.
Every night now I slept incessantly murmuring his name and dreaming about him beside and cuddling me. You may call it Illusion but for me It was Love And its Effects ( or More Hangover…)        
One Year Later…i.e Today…
There was a time when my boy, Shivam was delirious about me, that he could do anything just to get my mobile number, he used to spend hours just to catch me online. He used to tell me that I was the only girl whom he felt like talking to. He was really cute. We turned out to be good friends and soon were committed. But as they say, all good things don’t last long.
                I thought he loved me but no he didn’t. I thought we were made for each other but no we weren’t…L
                Things were not going the right way. It had been five months that he hadn’t called me. I wanted to clear out what the matter was. I was going impatient since it had been a long time we were not in touch. I tried all I could, left message in his facebook account left message in the numbers he used but nothing helped. And then I took his current mobile number from one of his friends, and when I called he didn’t even recognize my voice. That was the last thing I could ever expect from him. We broke up, it was him who did the broke up but I who said it.
                In these five months all I did was cry cry and cry but after we broke I changed. I stopped crying but I wasn’t happy either… I felt as if I was numb. I felt nothing! Nothing at all. I stopped caring about anything my clothes my face. I even stopped talking to my friends. I was becoming a nerd. I used to study for more than 9hrs a day so that I could keep my mind off him. (9hrs is a big deal for me because I don’t study for even 5 full hours even during exam time).
                I tried doing stupid stuffs so that I could forget him. One of it was stopping my tuition crush on the way back home and asking him to be my friend. He said yes… One worked a little but sooner or later I started feeling guilty. I felt like a slut while talking to my crush so I stopped talking to him.
                One fine day around 2-3 months after our break up he messaged me “hey I miss u! Y have u stopped talking to me. I am sorry yar. Can we be friends again” I was shocked! I thought staying detached with him would have made him realize my value. I forgave him almost instantly. We started talking again normally, actually better than we used to talk earlier.
                I thought we would soon patch up…J. Even his facebook wall had some emotional status on them. I thought of asking it to him. So I called him.
“Hey, how are you” I said
“I am good! U tell?” Shivam said.
“Oye watsup with your facebook status?” I was a little shy to ask this…
“I will tell you! But promise me you wont mind or feel bad” he said.
Why would I mind a proposal from my eye candy…”Ya say… I am hearing”
“You know I like a girl. From my college. I really love her yar. I always keep on telling her my feelings but she never understands and keeps on rejecting my proposal”he said. On hearing this, my heart skipped a beat. I was shattered. Moments ago I was thinking he would propose to me and what crap he was saying now. I wish he was kidding but no he wasn’t. I went dumbstruck.
“oye what happened? Bura to nai mani na?” he said…
“no no its okay, u carry on… whats her name? how does she look?” what else could I say?
“hmm.. her name is Akriti, beautiful she is…” and so on… we talked a little and then I cut the phone.
                I was almost crying. I don’t know why he messaged me when he already liked someone else. I felt like he was abusing me. I always had a small hope that someday he would come to me & ask for patch up, someday we would be back to normal. But after this conversation I lost this last hope. I felt like he dumped me yet again.
                It was a real difficult day for me… it was difficult for me to talk talk eat study and stop sobbing. I still remember how I completed my meal…L twice had my mom asked me if the food was bad or what the matter was… “nothing! I am okay” Is all I could say.
                After this incident I started staying away from him, we used to talk but I lost that park, I lost the smile I used to have after reading his texts… earlier it was me who used to speak a lot but now I subdued & all I did was hear his stories with akriti which was no less than a torture to me. He used to tell me stories of how he used to run after her all the time… and I used to feel like shit on hearing these stories. He used to do all he could for a girl who didn’t even care about me & on the other hand he was least bothered about me. I used to love him so much… still…
                Shivam used to tell me that she ignored him a lot, she didn’t even answer to his calls and so on. It was like he was living my life… earlier I used to run after him and now just the opposite was happening, but the difference was he wasn’t running after me. And then she even stopped talking to him.
                He told me he had stopped talking to other girls coz of Akriti. He said he would never fall in love not with anyone… sometimes I used to wonder what my mistake was that he was saying so… he even started having alchohol… all these talks about her made me feel even more worthless…
                He was the reason I lived. I always used to think that someday Ill go to banglore & we would meet. But my dreams, my planning’s all of them have shattered. I used to go for morning walk, did a hefty workout & kept a strict diet so that he wouldn’t be ashamed of walking with me. I tried all I could to be perfect to get him. I even proposed to him once but neither  did this work. Nowadays I fake to him that I have a boyfriend so that maybe… maybe he would get jealous & start liking me once again. But even this doesn’t seem to work…
                These days he stays very low! I feel sorry for him. Sometimes I feel as if his “karma” is doing this to him. As if He is getting a taste of his own actions!
P.S:- This Article Is Combined Effort Of Sadaf Zia And Me… More Credits To Sadaf For Pouring Her Heart Out…J


  1. Wow... Awesome...!!
    Hope dat frnd of mine recovers frm his loss... :)

    And hats off to sadaf...!! :)

  2. Wow... Awesome...!!
    Hope dat frnd of mine recovers frm his loss..

    Nd hats off to sadaf for being so strong...!! :)

  3. welcome to Indiblogger.
    College life is golden life. The path to our life's journey being and adult. Enjoy.

    1. Thnq...:) Indeed College life is golden life//:D :D

  4. You may argue that divine justice was delivered...however, true love is the ultimate loser here..another despairing reality of this fucked up Life....!

  5. i know about your feelings but all boys are not like him so be happy with who really cares for you and who loves you deeply from heart :))