Sunday 23 February 2014

#ConditionSeriousHai...


You are born with a silver spoon in your mouth; you grow up assiduously learning all the important jargons like Shit Happens and Bitch Please. In this journey of growth you will make many endeavours to see that specific impediment in you. You will get smitten by faces; you will try to work your ass out while sending those 10,000 messages a month. You will certainly pass your Senior Secondary School with good grades as your Principal will make you learn the paradigm of success and then you will learn the difference between Principle and Principal. Now you are 20, enthusiast, talented, vigorous and aggressive, these traits will make you participate in rallies, you will go against corruption, rape and racism, on the way back to home from rally, you will neither hesitate nor feel reluctant in bribing the traffic police, when you are caught over speeding, with the money your dad gave you to spend in your development.
You will, join college, have mates, sleep in class, watch porn and fantasize and if you are a girl do not forget to puke in order to prove ‘you are a good girl’. You will try everything to be famous, from stud earrings to guitar; from Karizma to Audi Q7 (Only if you have a rich DaD), you will bet your friends, win or lose you will party, a time will come in your life when you will turn stagnant, you will try to prove yourself feasible and not futile, then you will remember the famous poet Robert Frost and his poem Road Not Taken, many will follow the same old clichĂ©d path, while some will break the stereotype and will enjoy the grandeur success.
Everyone will have a job, and then each one of you will commit the 1st mistake of your life ‘Marriage’, you will marry the one tested by your parent on all the snobbish parameters meticulously.
You will enjoy your new bed and your new partner; unknowingly you will commit the 2nd mistake of your life “You will have Kids”.
Girls who once cared for their Lip gloss will now care for nappies and potties. Slowly and gradually they will start growing young and you OLD and then you will commit the 3rd mistake of your life; You will Repent on the decisions you made.
Men at 30…
You are 30, you have a hefty bank balance and lesser hair. Now you prefer BlackBerry suits over Levis denims –because you need to hide the bulge over your belly—your secretary is sexier than the girl you were dating during your sabbatical period at your University, but you have no time to appreciate her hot legs or buy her a gift –because you have already paid for it and you know, ‘she will serve herself every time you will ask her’—you have had everything Kissed, hugged, got laid and enjoyed every kind of sex, you have learnt to appreciate beauty (symptom, you are attaining Wisdom, mind it wisdom comes with experience and experience comes with age) because spewing comments like ‘Oh man, She is hot’ will lead to a bad impression resulting in loss of millions, in case of paranoid Indian entrepreneurs loss can be in Billions (at the age of 30)…
Women at 30…
You are 30, you are growing fat, you are no more interested in maintaining your Curves, you find ‘younger generation more interested in you’, but remember Men goes behind older women to get pleasure without commitment.
Hum sab ki #conditionSeriousHai but life is very long we all need to be up for it..

In the movie ‘Turning 30’Gul Panag was beautifully portrayed into the character of an independent woman, who experienced every Up and Down of dating a Banker; she had a beautiful job which paid her for making Ads. But as said “Everyday of the year is Not Spring, there are summers too”. One fine day her world came down, all shattered over the place when her fiancĂ©e left her for some big Daddy’s Girl, she lost her dream campaign and the next day she was Turning 30.
By the end of movie she was not crying on the betrayal of her fiancĂ©e given she was pretty and who hates a pretty face (at least, I don’t!); she was least affected by the campaign she lost as she had attained innumerable indispensable skills which made her confident, “I will make it”; but age, it was something resentful, you are not going to be 29 ever again, once you are 30.

 Life is yet not over, you have to play another long inning of 30 years. Go to work, work hard, earn rubies, spend them on legs (KFC ones), do everything this society makes you do, maintain your reputation and reckon every other indispensable thing, but by the 1800 hr of every day, sit alone and think about the things you always wanted to do when you grow up, think about the extremist desires you had as a child and think about that one thing you Miss doing.

After 1800 hr, nobody forces you to sit in your glass walled cabin and work, you are free. You can utilise this time for your passion, you can go to gym and workout, you can sing to the top of your voice, you can roam in around your city, you can meet people over Barbeques and you can do that one thing you always wanted to do and you can do it for another 30 years of your life…
You are 30, you are turning old, this is the epoch you will be remembered for, go out make it happen…


for more #ConditionSeriousHai posts go to...
https://www.facebook.com/cadbury5star

WhatsApp Down!!!



Today morning when I woke up and logged into my facebook account I found there was a rage in people, they were screaming, protesting and acquiring dharnas in front the office of facebook. I tried to read through the abuses and found that it was Whatsapp that made people remember the name of Mark Zuckerberg’s Mothers name which happens to be Karen Kempner.
The tweet by Whatsapp “Sorry we currently experiencing server issues. We hope to be back up and recovered shortly,”  was retweeted more than 25,000 times in just two hours.



It was no less than an apocalypse for the users. Being the Saturday night when people were out there drinking and clicking pictures and sending them over whatsapp people at WhatsApp were too busy drinking with the money they got from Facebook after all I was there first Saturday night after the deal that made the earth stand still for a moment.


Haha! The funniest meme I read this morning was “I was about to propose her when WhatsApp failed and I got friendzoned”. One of the user of whatsApp tweeted “I expect you are all away from your desks on the ales drinking some of that Facebook cash!”





BTW! This was not the first time when WhatsApp went down, it’s just the rumour that facebook is behind the mishap.



Monday 17 February 2014

Love Vs Relationship...

Hey! Thank You for landing on My blog. This piece of suggestion on romance was written for the blog of Delhi Based Publishing House Half Baked Beans.
you can read more of my articles at:- halfbakedvoices.blogspot.in/search/label/Pranav

The 14th February is gone and with it the week of romance and love ends. Now you can go back to the older you. Ignore her, do not call her up, make her wait for you, rebuke her, call her a bitch and do whatever you want to do, because the Valentine week is over and nobody is gonna ask u ‘how your relationship is going? And what new surprise you has got planned for her?’
Don’t you think the times of romance are now gone by? Don’t you think now we live in an Era where Love is basically a need? Don’t you agree with me that you are not in Love, you are just in a Relationship?
It was easier for you to enamor her because she too was looking for Someone like you—make it a note you had list of qualities when you were looking for someone; while love always was and will be a serendipity—and hence one day when you guys were enjoying drinks over a football match in a sports bar Love happened.
The first look was basically a test to check whether she qualifies all the eligibility criteria or not, whether she has cute curves or not, whether she has a dimple or not and whether she is hot or not.
We have re-defined things and transformed Love into a Relationship. Yep! You are not in Love, you are just in a Relationship.
If you are considering her before Signing Up for companionship you are subconsciously making an inventory of terms and conditions. You are concentrating more on plus points and less on the negative ones. Once the agreement is signed by both of you. You acquire a right to cash on all the discount coupons your partner is providing you with. You will cover the first base then the second base, you will be taking your hands in all the places and one day you will realize it is all boring and this relationship has got nothing new to offer and baaam you will break up! Now you are single—a time to re-work on the demerits you have as a human—and you are again looking for someone to fall in love(relationship) with.
You will meet another chick at another bar; her cute breast will inspire you to take over, her modern intellect with a sexy demeanor will inspire many things inside you, and her round ass will just sweep the floor making you Fall in Love again. You will approach her with a grin on your face, she will turn around, look at you( a quick check) and congratulations you are in love(relationship) again.
The same old paradigm will be repeated, the first base, the second base, hands in all the weird places and then BREAK UP!!!
You know what went wrong? The inventory you made before signing up for a relationship—it had all the pros and no cons—with the girl you met an hour ago. Relationship is like a coin, it has two faces. Till the time heads is up you can enjoy all the so called features she has. O

nce the coin gets flipped you will realize how moody and irritating the person you are dating is! But then what to do? Leave her and find someone else?
Nope! Not again, don’t follow the same old paradigm of falling in love instead realize what Love is
? Help yourself become a better partner and then wait for the one who inspire you in the same way every other girl did, enamor her again, take her too to bed and your hands in all the cozy places and when every coupon she had is spent, wait look at her smile, if it inspires you equally spend your life with her; because love is not about the things your partner has got to serve you with love is about sticking together even when you have nothing.

Friday 14 February 2014

Branwyn...

It’s less about what-people-will-say and more about what-you-want-to-do thing which drives the passion inside you to sail out of safe harbor and create waves in the vast sea of opportunities.
Same is the case with Sneha Gupta—the first working lady from Lalganj—as quoted by Times of India. Provided with the indispensable education she has developed wings and lately she has been found making waves in the field of Literature. In India she is basically known for her two national bestseller novels but foreign readers know her because of the name associated to her-Branwyn.
Branwyn is an outcome of collaboration of few intellectual minds from literary field. With the not-so-good-experience in the publishing industry during the initial days of publishing a book Sneha Gupta went on a mission to bridge the gap between Authors, Readers and Publishing houses.
A gap which was profound enough to make a published Author anonymous in a crowd. A dividing line drawn by the obnoxious publishing houses. Sneha Gupta now acclaims of bringing a change in the way authors are now being perceived. This monthly e-magazine which has been read by more than 10,00,000 times is now an integral part of every reader who wants to peep into the life of their favorite authors.
Readers are found coaxing the editor for more and more. They are
the ones who have made Branwyn what it is today. The huge success and infectious growth in readership indicates ‘how desperately people out there were waiting for a revolution’ Branwyn has surely made a huge difference. Being the first of its kind from India is too an achievement for Branwyn.
From today we are starting with a series of blog-posts on this literary extravaganza; where readers will get to read about the various segments of the magazine. We will be updating readers about the latest contests organized by this Magazine. We will be serving our readers with a sneek peak into the making of this magazine. One by One we will introduce every segment and the faces behind those segments.
P.S- Keep checking this space for more and more about Branwyn and contests.


Contact-pranavshree14@gmail.com

you can read the January edition of the magazine here-
http://www.scribd.com/doc/204862236/Branwyn-Jan-2014


Thank You.




Tuesday 11 February 2014

London-A bubble of Imagination.

When I was of six years in age, my grandmother used to tell me those nanny stories with angels being the bearer of wisdom. They used to get real with the story advancing at a slow pace. With time I started growing up now my granny started reading to me story of a spectacle d boy somewhere in an English country. The boy was orphan and treated badly by his uncle and aunt, all he had was waste and a room full of loneliness. Then there came a day when someone as big as a tree broke into his privacy to take him away to a magical world of brooms and wizards. The mere expose to the magical world and magical spells opened a world of stories to me. The imagination with the help of which I drew the characters inspired me to create my own characters, to create a heroic poster of myself in my dreams. It inspired me to be a writer with wide intellect and profound imagination. I started visiting libraries at a great frequency. I was a kid all I knew about life is ‘someone as big as a tree will break into my place one day and will take me to place where I belong—a library’. Library turned out to be my second home. It was decided I am going to be a writer. Then I grew up and the cobwebs of engineered stereotype caught me and I ended up signing for the engineering course; where I am forced to jot down hundred lines of useless codes everyday. I always wanted to write but not codes; I wanted to write something magical which will break the caricatures of the world and help people grow with intricate happiness.
I dreamt of going to United Kingdom get myself a degree in literature from the Cambridge University and serve the world with literati perfection. My dream was crushed under the weight of engineering degree and I was left with no other choice. I lived my dream everyday inside my head, I decided I will go and break through. I started content writing for various blogs and online portals in order to earn enough for my survival at London. Today I stand in a position to say my dream is not away. I am going to an English country to learn English because ‘if only you understand well, you can explain well’.

My Dream London is waiting for me. I wish to be there any moment now and live my dream. I wish to travel through tubes and drink star bucks after lectures in afternoon. I want to experience the chill of London and I want to write about the wits of London. I want to live my dream life in London. Roaming in subways, travelling through tubes, singing my life out and then write about it and Die.

I want to go to UK to learn English…

Friday 7 February 2014

Valentine's Day Gifts...

Love- ain’t this word has made you smile, cry, shout and whisper at night. Love is the most indispensable part of today’s youth’s life—Toppers please excuse us. Love has surely made you do something you never even thought of. It may have made you go the rounds of military cantonment for even worst it has made you attend boring lectures. In my case it has made me do many crazy little things. It has made me fight people and best thing—it has made a clear impression of how good I am as a person.
Love is the reason behind all the great things that happened on this planet—because to do great work you need to do what you love—and Lack of Love is the reason behind all bad things that took place on this planet—America bombed Japan out of extreme Love—not actually you may argue; but you will have to agree, Love is the anecdote for everything bad thing that happened.
Love is the most conspicuous thing on this planet, you can see a small kid holding her father’s finger while crossing the street—security a form of Love—you see people carrying their old parents to hospitals—responsibility the third state of love first being the Please and second being the Thank You—Love is all that has made us what we are today.
Valentine’s Day is one such day when people Love to celebrate Love. Loving to celebrate Love with your lovable ones is a lovely thing. Affection inspires goodness and goodness inspires Humanity. Be lovable and spread Humanity because at the end our purpose on earth is to Spread Humanity.
Valentine’s day has its own place among the different age groups. School going students plan to propose the beautiful soul from the other sex while university students get engaged in act of producing other soul of any sex…;)
Valentine’s truly is the most beautiful day in the calendar. The whole atmosphere is red with roses and pink with blushes. You can see every vendor selling Cards, Chocolates and Condoms—because if Love can inspire Humanity then it will definitely inspire sensuality.
People generally bump into me during these weeks for suggestion quoting ‘Hey buddy what should I do to make her feel special?’ and I end up saying ask her to meet me..;)
Jokes apart the reasoning I am writing this blog is to help all those pals and Scooby-doo friends out there-
·        Bring them something they will never expect from you but make sure you do not try to surprise by sending it via some courier service because in this case you will be the last one on her guess.
·        Take her to place where she can know you as a person because the speed of life will give you smooches and sex but it will never give you satisfaction and strength. Only a person who knows you will tell you to Keep Calm in your bad days.
·        Make Love to her—if you can—but make sure you do not make her a mommy.
·        Take them for a ride back to the timeline and experience the romance getting fresh.
Do all that you can do with your small little pocket-money. Take her to bar, cafĂ©, movie or to  a locked room but after getting spent—physically and financially—do tell her how much you love her and how much respect you have for her.

Sunday 2 February 2014

Self Policing...

This post was written for the blog of Half Baked Beans--A Delhi based publishing house...
You can read more of my articles at- halfbakedvoices.blogspot.in
How many times a day we comment on the way a person prefers dressing. How much of time we spend every day judging others. How many times does our comment or judgment make things better? Do we even consider how sentimental our slander may be? Do we even try to decipher the genesis of the way in which one behaves?
 Will we ever change? Will we ever understand others?

No! Not until we are on the other side of the road.

Been on the other side of the road, we would have understood, how it feels to be one with no fortune, with no luck and with no happiness. Life has long ceased to be fair and to us life is good because we are lucky or in layman’s word because our parents have got money.
Money these days is an onerous thing with a cryptic meaning. Money brings to us everything-food, friends, relatives, happiness and love. Money without love is a waste and a love without money is embarrassing.
How we have turned into so hard shelled? Since, when we lost the hinterland values? What made us so stiff? Will we live like this all our life? Will this ever end?

The answer lies within you. The answer lies in Self-Policing.
Self-Policing is merely a term in English language which means-‘the process of keeping order or maintaining control within a community without accountability or reference to an external authority’, but in the situation we all are living in, the way we all have got succumbed in our shells, this term is no less than an anecdote.
We all need to get accused of being ignorant and get investigated for the damage we have made to us, others and to our planet. Yep, not just we humans, our thoughts with bad frequency damages the planet too; and with the speed we are judging people and declaring our opinions as gospel no doubt we will not need any nuclear weapon to annihilate our planet.
Self-policing can help us attain peace and can help us make this planet a better place to live. Every-time you think of someone of as creepy and weird just because they dress-up differently ask yourself ‘why will anyone deliberately like to be a laughter stock’. I am not suggesting you to develop a self-doubt, but I am requesting you to be generous and intellectual. A mind with intellect thinks over things and acts accordingly. A mind of animal with no intellect attacks; and not to forget we are human beings.
Self-policing is considered to be a part of yoga; where we tend to understand our short comings and overcome them with the help of Meditation and physical exercises. Yoga(ancient word for exercise) is the best way available to understand one self. When you start understanding yourself you start understanding the world.
We all small, big, gay, straight, black or white need to understand ourselves. We need to understand this world moves in a cycle. We need to understand we all are a part of that cycle and we need to understand the disruption in cycle may lead us back to the genesis of life which is assumed to be dark, very dark.

And as the famous poem from Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara goes…
“Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho.
Toh zinda ho tum!
Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Hawa ke jhonkon ke jaise aazad rehna seekho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise, leharon mein behna seekho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein
Har ek pal ek naya samaa dekhe ye nigaahe
Jo apni aankhon mein hairaniyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!”

Do everything you want to do but make sure nobody is getting hurt; nobody suffers a loss in your gain and make sure you are making your planet a better place to live.